berries

berries are the greatest culinary casualty of our day
raspberries in particular
they're seedy and sour, and if you ever had a sweet one it probably had sugar on it
so hard to get right

now we have blue raspberry
blue raspberries don't even exist
nothing blue should be eaten

but blue raspberry exists and is real
it is a real flavor
maybe food science will create blue raspberries to grow out of the ground
are my kids gonna ask for blue raspberries one day?

what about regular raspberries?
does the FDA have a stash of raspberry seeds in case of rapture?
does it have a stash of blue raspberry seeds?

are we to mourn the death of the raspberry?
i mean, it exists and all, but how many people buy them expecting to get something sweeter and not so tart?
anyone?
is there a group of berry enthusiasts who fear they will one day wake up in a world where the actual raspberry flavor is gone and instead there are only genetically modified blue raspberry flavored raspberries growing out of the ground?

will good charlotte release a cover album of dead kennedys songs and alternative tentacles will burn the originals?
will drama start borrowing from popcorn movies?

oh boy oh boy i know
we get to witness spectacle's adolesence
he doesn't need his mother's raspberries anymore
no more hot\cold reward\punishment system during his berry enjoyment
no more sweet sour sour sour sweet mealy mushy sweet

and his kids are gonna eat crunch berry flavored blue raspberries
they'll learn about heirloom berries and fruits and vegetables and organic produce and they will feel outrage for as long as there are classmates to proselytize amongst

quit your bitching kid
the raspberry is dead

you're next