how to handle xmas with a former jehovah's witness

'tis the season for questions
where "why" takes a back seat to "why not" in the great christmas debate

Dear friends,
it's ok to just say nothing
and not dance around with what or what not to say or do
don't ask "what you people did on christmas"
don't ask how it was growing up
don't ask if i've started because i haven't

there are forces at work
girlfriends and girlfriend's families with the best intentions
coworkers and customers coddling me with the cold delicate handling reserved only for religious minorities they gleefully shit talk in or out of suspected earshot
strangers who can't help but feel i am slighting those closest to me with a presentless 25th

sorry team

this is america
and there are stones in this pot that refuse to melt
and there are as many definitions and interpretations of christmas as there are snowflakes in a snowman
some want the christ back in
some want the christ out
some just want the look on the faces of their children when they see a mound of wrapped presents beneath The Tree

and who am i to spare them that?
who am i to think i ever stood a chance?
to them that is worth the stress and aggravation of mall crowds and long days with the shortest hours of sunlight
they are probably right
they are right
and i am wrong again

i was wrong when i was knocking on the doors of strangers with news of an impending armageddon
i was wrong when i knew there was no santa

and we don't really have to talk about it

silence is a cold i am willing to bear

love,
jeremy