Tuesday, September 26, 2023

clarity

Funny you should ask about that

I just heard the end of the road has nothing to do with the road

and while I won't take credit for that quote or all its wisdom

I'll take credit for saying it to you on a rainy day when you're far away.

I don't know what a timeline is

because where I am has nothing to do 

with how I got here.

I say this to you truly

because I have bartered the isle of Manhattan for beads like the misunderstood and 

misnomered Indians of yore.  

I lived simply and honestly and was suckered by well dressed Europeans offering anything at 

all for something that no one could own yet they figured out how, practically.

oh well.

Now I have paid attention to the world since those fateful days

as the best parts of my environment turned into buildings I've no reason to enter--

thinking I, too, was now stone

and my fields having been ravaged by locusts, so to speak

and then a light

'la belle dame sans merci' or something more original and fitting but maybe a little more 

stunning and a lot more kind

and hey she looked like you

just you 

because that's who she was and still is

and in a breath

the terra cotta facades and glassy skyscrapers

seemed teeming voluptuous and glistening

and guess who did that for me

that was you too 

I felt a small pilgrim in the city I am seeing for the first time as it really is

and I'm ashamed to have ever been angry or sad or jealous

you gave me that and give me that

and whether or not I die shivering in the cold

or retire to a farm upstate to sit fireside for eternity

on rainy and far away days

I still get to think about the way your patience and grace let me kiss you in the rain

on some bench dedicated to strangers maybe but built just for us

in a park designed by transcendentalists once inhabited by indigenous

both of them watching from the sweet hereafter and cheering the both of us on

for finally finally finally visiting the park 

to actually transcend.